Welcome To My World: Pt. 2

Mead Gardens, one of the locations for the video shoot.

Last month, I blogged I'll be featured this December in a special video series at my church. The series highlights four different people's stories from Discovery Church and how God engages and shows up in our everyday, complicated, and messy worlds.

During my video shoot/interview, I learned the series will include a mom who has two kids under the age of 5 and her struggles with where her significance comes from, and a widowed husband working through loss and grief; his wife passed away last year. There's another feature that will also highlight the real life realities another family is dealing with.

For my feature, I was asked to share from the perspective of a single/female/artist/Christ follower/missionary and the current longings and hunger of the soul that accompany that combination. My video shoot took place about two weeks ago on a very beautiful day in Orlando.We did some shots in Winter Park, off Park Avenue and some nearby in Mead Botanical Gardens.

The themes that are addressed in my segment deal with my struggles to live in now - living on "play" when often my heart and mind moves toward the future, wanting to "fast forward" to new things, new experiences not yet begun...dating, being published as a writer, marriage, and becoming a professional full-time writer (um, wow that scares me a little to say that out loud!).

Often I want to go to the next when God is calling me to live in the now. And take care of what my now currently includes as a more intentional woman, steward, and creative. The video shoot took about three hours and required me to condense the thoughts and feelings I had in these areas down into 30 second or less complete and profound statements for the interview. That was challenging but it was so good.

And I began to see how God was speaking to my heart in sweet and intentional ways as I shared my truth on camera. It was like a counseling session with The Holy Spirit as I processed out loud where I was in this part of my story, but also what I'm starting to sense God show me as I experience these desires for my future but ask him how to live in my now and on "play."

My journal was treated like a celebrity during the shoot, lots of
video footage of it and me writing in it. 

I also began to see in the answers I gave to the interview questions how God has given me perspective for why it's so important for me to live on "play" now and not "fast forward" to next.

There was one thing God revealed to me and it blew me away even as I spoke it. It went a little something like this: "There are things taking place in my life in this season that wouldn't be possible if just one thing were different about my life right now. There are things I'm called to do in my "now" that I wouldn't be able to do if I were in another season." 

In essence, I'm learning and embracing the importance of living on purpose exactly where I am and embracing where God has me. Stewarding my time now and being in the moment of the experiences I've been given now is such a rich gift.

If I spend all my time looking ahead at what I perceive to be the better, the next best thing, I'll foolishly and tragically let incredible moments, people, blessings and experiences slip right through my fingers and not even realize that's happening because I'm too focused on moving to "fast forward."

My new perspective: living on "play" to live on purpose.

I'm choosing from now on to live on "play." The beauty of the music I hear in the place of "play" far outweighs the hurried pace of choppy melodies that come from "fast forwarding" my life. It's funny how you don't realize this because you're too distracted trying to get to that next adventure to realize what a beautiful place you're already living in.

People say often the grass is always greener on the other side, i.e. longings and desires to be someplace else can make those places look better, lusher than where you are dwelling now. But the reality I've found is that the grass ain't greener. Once you get to those grasses I guarantee there will be new grasses your heart begins to look toward, desiring to move you yet again.

We're such fickle people. I'm such a fickle person. Our desires and longings can run and sometimes ruin our lives. I'm thankful for my relationship with God. He keeps my desires balanced in the light of truth and his purposes for me now. Desires are good but they're at their best when they flow in sync with God's "play" button. His button equals incredibly harmony, perfectly at work in the life he's given me.