put a ring on it

Photo by Joel R. Terrell.

as a 32-year old spiritually mature, intelligent, engaging, witty, attractive and focused young woman, it makes me quite curious and amused when those more seasoned than i come right out and ask me about my love life or often, its "non-existent" state. usually, friends and family who are married will ask the question, "mel, when YOU gon' start dating girl?" or "when you gon' get married? you do want to marry, don't cha?"

and then, I begin my reply, which usually sounds something like, "oh, i am SO ready and want to know myself when is he coming! i want to and am ready to!" and then we talk more and they tell me their thoughts on what God's best will be for me in a mate, and i share what i don't want (aka to be a pastor's wife; funny how many people have told me they see me as such...i politely rebuke them), and we laugh, and they say they will pray and i shoot a silent prayer to the Lord that says something like, "when Lord, when???"


beyonce's told us her truth on the matter: "cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it"...um, not gon' spend too much time trying to figure out what "it" is, but i get the girl's point. it really does comes down to the time-tested biblical truth that when man finds a wife, he finds a good thing, finds favor with the Lord, and promptly puts a ring on it. yet, spending my days pondering when it will be my turn to get a ring on it isn't the healthiest way to move forward in this journey of trusting God for my future and for my mate. i've had people share that they pray every day for their future spouses, people they have not yet met. uh, i ain't that holy. or that disciplined. i've also been told that the things you pray for in a spouse should be things you too are asking God to help you become and grow into. that's pretty reasonable.

for me, right now in this season of my life, when i think of marriage, commitment, becoming a wife and starting a godly family, what stands out the most to me is eternity. i desire to fulfill those roles with eternity in mind. really, that is all that is gonna matter. and leaving a godly legacy for my family and those who'll come after me. and i think about other stuff too...how much life will change, the good, the bad, and the whattheworld.com's to come. but i also think about the truth that God is very specific and intentional about every season he creates and leads us to in our lives. he knows the best time, the best place and the best people for each season. husbands included.

some would say, "oh, well faith without action is dead and if you want to be married, you need to put yourself in places to be seen and show that you're available and engaging and interested." from the eharmony and match.com's to gatherings of young professionals and everything in between, some say jump in, go deep and be known. i say stay grounded, be discerning and listen to the Holy Spirit. he is the voice of truth and he leads us into all truth. he knows what's best for me and often times (um, let's be truthful...ALL THE TIMES), he sets things up waaaay better than i ever could.

am i ready for a ring on that left ring finger right now? i'd like to say absolutely, but honestly, i believe only God knows. and following his lead will always be best for me. am i ready to engage in a friendship right now that could develop into a committed dating relationship? oh yeah, most def. sign me up. i think. uh, yes, yes, i'm ready. um, i hope i am. or am i? wheeew. so thankful i have a father who knows me better than i know myself. when the time is right, by golly, it's gon' be right. he's writing the chapters that compose the story of my life; i'm bringing those pages to life. the journey continues.

"Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wha-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh..." ~ m